Parents

You know your child better than anyone. The question is whether you're seeing the right things.

Most parents of aspiring footballers — or soccer players, if you're reading this from outside the UK — are watching every match, driving to every training session, and doing everything they can to support their child's development. But knowing how to read what you're seeing — and knowing what to do about it — is a different skill altogether.

I've spent fifty years in football, on both sides of that equation. I had coaches who were at the peak of their game. I've coached youth players in England, the United States, and Nigeria, and I've scouted players who went on to make it at the top level. I know what development looks like from the inside — and I see what parents often miss.

Two goals. One process.

Whether your son or daughter is aiming for a professional contract or a college scholarship, the preparation is the same: honest assessment and specific feedback from someone who knows what scouts and coaches are actually looking for.

For players anywhere in the world, a full college scholarship in the United States is a serious and achievable goal — one that requires the same rigour as the professional route. I take both pathways just as seriously.

Questions worth asking yourself

I have spent decades watching players and the parents behind them. These are the questions I think every parent of an aspiring player should be able to answer honestly.

  • Does your child start matches? If they're on the bench, how much playing time are they actually getting?

  • On training nights, are they excited to go? When they're there, are they giving maximum effort?

  • Are you noticing a loss of enthusiasm — in training, in matches, at home?

  • Are they playing a set position, or being moved around to fill gaps?

  • Have you spoken to the coach about your child's situation? What was the response?

  • Are you doing any extra training at home with your child?

  • Do you attend professional matches together — in your town or a nearby city?

  • Are you the parent who adds pressure, or the one who accepts whatever happens?

There are no wrong answers here. But if you're honest with yourself, the answers tell you something about where your child actually is — and what, if anything, needs to change.

Who I am

When it comes to developing your child's game, experience at the highest level is rare. Most people offering advice online don't have it.

I spent fifteen years in the professional game, many of them in the English First Division, was coached by Bobby Robson and Terry Venables, two of England's most respected managers, and I've spent decades since coaching youth players across five countries and scouting players before anyone else was watching. That's what I bring to every conversation with a parent.

There is more about me on the About Don Shanks page.

Want an honest read on where your child actually stands?

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